Zero79
Baron/Baroness of EvThreads
Posts: 80
Gender: Female
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Post by Zero79 on Mar 10, 2014 16:55:28 GMT -5
I've been following all of the drama since Amy's tweet yesterday and I have to say it's ridiculous. The Nashville crew absolutely deserved the shout out, and they have every right to be excited about it and about being there. Being a fan isn't about how many shows you've seen and how much merch you own, it's about the love for the music. I think Amy's made it pretty clear that she adores ALL of her fans, and if you think otherwise you need to get over yourself.
On the other hand I will say that I've witnessed and had experiences with some not so kind fans in the past(yes, even here on EvThreads), but you know what? We're not just Evanescence fans, we're HUMAN. Not everyone is going to be nice, not everyone is going to want to be your friend, and you have to remember that even the nicest people have their not so nice moments, that's life.
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Post by jessicawhatsername on Mar 10, 2014 18:25:07 GMT -5
i havent been able to go to an Ev concert, and i'm a huge fan! i guess as long you have common knowledge of the music, and liking the music, is all that matters.
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Post by sorrowshold on Mar 11, 2014 4:04:35 GMT -5
Its making me so angry that instead of THANKING people for attending shows we cant and SHARING their experiences including videos and pictures with us they are being attacked. All these fans pictures and videos are all over facebook, twitter, tumblr, and instagram with absolutely no credit to the people who took them and its far from the first time. I always loved that in this fandom if one person did something it was like we were all there because they were kind enough to share with us and suddenly thats all going downhill now all because Amy thanked some fans. If she didnt thank them she wouldnt be my idol and im sure at future shows if fans give her gifts she'll thank them too because thats just how she is. Its sad that her choice words are being dissected and turned into something bad and its sick that this is even an issue. So sick. But of course leave it to facebook for all this drama to begin.
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Titanic
Baron/Baroness of EvThreads
Too Lost to Lose
Posts: 194
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Post by Titanic on Mar 11, 2014 10:07:08 GMT -5
There's no way to truly quantify fandom, because it's a subjective idea. And no one should want to try. I feel anyone trying to prove they're a bigger fan of something has some kind of mental pathology because it's not healthy to be completely obsessed with any one single thing that dominates their lives and interests. Loving something and having passion for it is encouraged, but anything in excess is undesirable, even something as great as admiration.
That said, I feel we all support, love and enjoy Evanescence/Amy in our own way. Personally, I've only attended one tour and I didn't really like it. I'd rather have seen Amy solo like just her and David Eggar. Does that mean I'm less of a fan for not being big on live shows, or not liking every single song they've recorded? Does it matter? Nope.
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Post by Rarkphoenix on Mar 11, 2014 12:31:53 GMT -5
Sadly, you're always going to get this, and particularly so with bands like Evanescence for the very reason that its music has had such a profound impact on people. A lot of Evheads have very strong viewpoints on certain things because the band and its music means so much to us and when there's conflicting opinions, a lot of the time you're going to get drama. Another issue is the internet (combined with the ambiguity of the English language in particular), sometimes a comment can be meant entirely as a joke or as a bit of fun, but can be read entirely the wrong way. From my experience the best way to approach these things is to try not to get too emotionally involved when it comes to fellow fans (in terms of sharing views about the band). You've just got to accept that we all appreciate the same thing, but in entirely different ways and that being a fan doesn't mean you have to be like another fan. Heck, a lot of people till they get to know me are dumbfounded when they find out I'm a bit of a diehard Evhead, you'd never guess unless you knew me personally. If people have a problem with the way you, personally, appreciate their music - let 'em deal with it. It's not their problem and it's not worth letting their opinions get to you. Same with everything really.
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Post by mydnyghtamethyst on Mar 11, 2014 17:52:35 GMT -5
@tofarlefttogo, I sincerely hope no one from this forum has made you feel that way. I know we can not control peoples' actions outside of here, but I feel all of our member are kind and have enough respect for others to know behavior like that is just wrong. And I know we strive to make this a fun place where everyone can celebrate their diversity, united by Ev. I'm not even saying this a a mod, but as an Ev fan and a member who loves and backs this forum 100%.
Yes, it is unfortunate, but I think there is a elitist attitude within every fandom and it is very prevalent on other forums or groups. That is why I spend more time here than any other site. I've never come across any Ev fans like that, but I know they are probably out there. So because I have no interest in CD singles, I'm not a real fan? That is just ridiculous. There is not some great award for biggest fan every year.
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Post by AlessEv on Mar 11, 2014 18:37:12 GMT -5
I'm not going to repeat what has already been said in here, but yes slipknaughtybynature I know how you feel. I avoid twitter because I find it to be a very horrible drama-filled place. I also feel like there is to an extent, some elitism within the fanbase even if it is not intentional. I've always thought that the ET award 'biggest Ev fan' is unnecessary and not a good idea. But to me ET overall is the best place to hang out with other fans online, since it is moderated, so I guess that makes people think slightly more about what they post. I find it worrying that both sides feel like they are being cyberbullied but neither side will admit to their actions and words causing upset to someone else, it just gets rationalised as if it were ok, which it isn't. Doesn't it concern you that things you have said or done make others feel that way? Your own words about or to other people never really say much about them, mostly they show things about the person speaking, you. Too many people are obsessed with getting revenge or getting even and it's not very healthy, it doesn't ever help at all really. Attacking someone even if you think you're standing up for yourself or your friends is still bullying, and if they started it, why is it ok to copy them? If you're attacking someone because you want to back up a friend, are you also saying your friend can't handle it on their own? Why not cheer them up if they were offended instead of fighting? Did you know that some criminals including serial killers rationalise their own actions and believe they are innocent? eg. 'I shot them in self defence.' Actions have consequences! (I have learnt this myself, I'm not pretending to be totally innocent, I have said some dumb things in my life) I think the only other thing I will add is that being an adult is not much of a sign of maturity. Some of my favourite Ev fans are young teens or they were when I first came across them on the forum. If even one person slightly takes in any of what I said I guess it will make this post worth writing out.
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Post by FallenEvArmy on Mar 12, 2014 6:34:46 GMT -5
Too many people are obsessed with getting revenge or getting even and it's not very healthy, it doesn't ever help at all really. Attacking someone even if you think you're standing up for yourself or your friends is still bullying, and if they started it, why is it ok to copy them? If you're attacking someone because you want to back up a friend, are you also saying your friend can't handle it on their own? Why not cheer them up if they were offended instead of fighting? I love what you said here, it's very enlightening. I'm not innocent either, but I have experienced this sort of gang-up before, where one person says something, and the rest flock to back them up, like a full-blown attack. And the comment I made in question wasn't even directed at anyone, it was just something I felt at the time and wanted to express.
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Post by jessicawhatsername on Mar 12, 2014 12:34:31 GMT -5
i'm on two fan forums , this one and GDC (Green Day forum) this one and GDC are very welcoming and for the most part aren't elitist.... But when i joined Blink's forum, i mentioned i liked Blink Green day and Ev, and the people were crap.
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Post by Carved in Stone on Mar 12, 2014 12:34:44 GMT -5
I joined this message board to learn about Evanescence, catch up with latest news, and have fun!!!
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 12, 2014 14:12:04 GMT -5
Am I the only one getting a passive aggressive vibe from this?
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Worm Baby
Viscount/Viscountess of EvThreads
終̴̟̲̦͎̭͙̺͑͂ͥ̌̉̓͐ͯ̔͆ͧͥ́̚͠わ̟̘̙̠̞͎̗̘̺͍͙̬͓̜̣̗̮͔̃͂ͭ͂̑ͧͧ͠り̶̛̱̯͎̪̜͕͎͓̰̟̬͎̹̘̹͖͆̏̎̈́̃͜͢͟ͅ
Posts: 798
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Post by Worm Baby on Mar 12, 2014 16:17:51 GMT -5
I've been part of the Ev community for over 10 years and have often felt a bit left out at times, but I'm kinda glad I seem to always avoid the drama that happens amongst fans as a result. Sorry, but this all seems really silly.
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Post by mydnyghtamethyst on Mar 12, 2014 17:00:40 GMT -5
Am I the only one getting a passive aggressive vibe from this? In what way do you mean, Alyssa? *pure curiosity*
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Post by slipknaughtybynature on Mar 12, 2014 17:06:21 GMT -5
I had to leave this post for a couple of days and come back to it with a clear head and an open heart. There are so many points of views expressed in this thread. I value it! I am so glad we can address these issues and engage in mature discussion. Thank you all for contributing. First of all, I am NOT and will not be the posterchild for raging Evanescence fans who attack other Evanescence fans out of jealousy and anger. In regards to the Facebook incident, I will admit to expressing a moment of jealousy about not being at the show in Nashville but I apologized for that twice. I recognize that I've had my Ev moments, I've met Amy and seen them live a few times and have amazing Ev experiences that I'l remember for the rest of my life. I would never deny those experiences to anyone and I admire the Ev fans who worked hard to get to that show and see Amy. I've experienced both the "you're not a real fan" and "you're too much of a fan" so I understand how hard finding that "acceptable" balance for people- but at the end of the day... who really cares? Demarzi is right, the Evanescence things you do isn't for the sake of other Ev fans or the community- it's for you and you're not more or less of a fan because of it. I think you should do whatever makes you happy, for your sake. Here's the thing. Yes, I was cyberbullied on Facebook. I will not deny that I may have started it the whole thing with a passive-aggressive and rude comment BUT I APOLOGIZED FOR THAT REPEATEDLY and I chose not to delete my initial comment because I wanted to own up to what I said like a mature adult. The subsequent comments were unnecessary. Someone said that they engaged with sexual activity with my deceased father and I was a product of that, and kept going on about necrophilia. I was called names. I was told that I was not a "devoted" ev fan. So many ugly, terrible things were said. I will apologize again for accusing people of elitism if they do not think themselves elitists but I will not apologize for standing up for myself and creating this post or calling anyone out in the first place! I have no ill will towards anyone involved in that group- I really don't. I understand that tensions were high and the discussion was heated. My comment may have been the last straw before they decided to lash out. I obviously don't need an apology but I would like to point out that no one from that group has expressed any sympathy or remorse about how they made me feel. Not even a "hey sorry if you FELT you were cyberbullied, can we drop the whole thing and move on?" I had to bow out of that conversation and then the conversation continued with harsh and cruel comments and eventually the whole thing was deleted. As if it could all be swept under the rug! Thank you to every single person here on ET who apologized on their behalf. You all have restored my faith in the Evanescence fandom. I appreciate it more than you will ever know. :') You never know who you're going to run in at an Ev show or who you're going to buy a single from on Ebay. Let's keep it cordial and civil at least. I do feel like the Ev community is sort of a family and I respect and appreciate every last one of you.
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Zero79
Baron/Baroness of EvThreads
Posts: 80
Gender: Female
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Post by Zero79 on Mar 12, 2014 17:35:51 GMT -5
I have no ill will towards anyone involved in that group- I really don't. Then why are you still going on about it? I'm not justifying that their actions were right, but beating the dead horse dragging your Facebook drama on EvThreads ISN'T going to make them apologize.
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